And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize