is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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