So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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