I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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