so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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