I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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