Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
