New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
