dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
