one two three fourrrrnication!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
