If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
