I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
