i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
