I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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