Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
