My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
