the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize