She's JV to your varsity
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
