There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
