i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
