i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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