I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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