Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
