The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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