I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
