I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
