five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
