chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
