Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
