Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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