my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
