Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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