If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
