Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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