Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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