Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
