This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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