She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You ruined the universe
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize