Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
