You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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