Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
