You surviving the open bar?
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dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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