we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
