We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize