I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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