he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
