There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
