If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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