Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she looked like the before picture.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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