Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
