This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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