Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
