He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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