AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize