Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
