If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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