and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
