She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
