Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
