At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
