my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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