You smell like stripper and shame
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
