We won't sleep together?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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