hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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