She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
MIDGETS
????
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
