My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
