"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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