I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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