I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
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